South Florida's List of Demands

Dear non-South Floridian United States,

There are several things that you have in abundance that we want/need.  In exchange for sharing your wealth, we will be more than happy to send you some Pollo Tropical restaurants, Cuban cafeterias and bakeries, bartenders trained in making mojitos, La Carreta, A Sedano's, a Navarro, and maybe a Pizza Rustica or two.  Failure to meet our demands may result in all South Florida airports being shut down between the months of November and May, so think carefully about your decision to help us.

Our demands are as follows:

1. Trader Joe's
• Like Ikea, we just need one for the whole region.  You have a bajillion of them, so I'm sure this won't hurt you too badly.
2. White Castle
• All we ask for is one
3. Real Mexican Tacos
• C'mon, California, we're counting on you!
4. Raising Cane's
• Baton Rouge, we want free chicken fingers for our birthdays, too!
5. Giordano's
• It would be nice to have a deep dish pizza once in a while
6. Culver's
• It's hot here, and we need frozen custard....and butter burgers, too!
7. Izzo's Illegal Burrito
• Sometimes we want a really big burrito without all of Chipotle's hippy philosophies and feeling like we're eating in a tool shed; and sometimes we'd like something other than a burrito, too.
8. Sonic
• There's supposedly one down here, but we need more....many more.
9. Banh Mi sandwiches
• We need more Vietnamese people.  And tell them to bring their Southeast Asian neighbors, too.
10. Coffee shops that aren't Starbucks
11. Ethiopian restaurants
12. Puerto Rican cuchifritos
• With all the Boricuas in Broward County, I'm surprised we don't have a place serving little fried morsels of savory goodness.  NYC, this is your time to contribute!
13. Po' Folks
• So much better than Cracker Barrel.  But unlike Cracker Barrel, please put one somewhere where people can actually access it easily.
14. Halwa Puri, Paan, and inexpensive South Asian fast food
• Please, please, please send us down some of your Desis.  We're in dire need of Pakistani breakfasts, mouth fresheners, and the ability to grab a quick samosa, pani puris, or a falooda.

You can start with these for now, but be warned that the list might grow.  We'll send you some aspiring Argentine and Brazilian models, a Sergio's, and a fritanga to make up for it though.