South Florida Caterers

Just as my father taught me that Broadway singers were those who couldn't make it in a proper opera, I've come to believe that caterers are those cooks who couldn't make it in a restaurant kitchen.  Working in a doctor's office, we see about a dozen pharmaceutical representatives each day, and almost every day we get lunch catered by one of those representatives.  When I started working at my current job, most of our lunches resembled cheap wedding food: items that were inoffensive to most, and thus lacked in flavor, originality, and too often in quality.  Surprisingly, most of the reps thought the food was "faaaaaabulous", which lead me to believe that a lack of taste buds was a prerequisite for entering the pharmaceutical representative profession.  As a foodie, I had to put my foot down, and I joined forces with the other disgruntled employees to begin suggesting restaurants that we liked.  Our experience with caterers led us to believe that food from any caterer was automatically going to be subpar and more expensive than food from any restaurant, and this fueled us to lead reps away from caterers.  From my experiences, most caterers have no clue as to what they're doing and serve just plain bad food, although in the year that I've been working at this medical practice, I've come across one or two that are excellent and better than many restaurants I've been to.  Still, unless you're having a wedding for more than 50 people, you're better off saving money if you cook the food yourself, or get some relatives to make it for you.

Caterers to avoid:

• From Soup To Nuts
• Just atrocious food!  This is run out of somebody's home kitchen which is probably located in a trailer home somewhere in Davie.  They never bring chafing dishes or serving utensils, the food always arrives cold, and nobody should be partial to a spaghetti and egg casserole, a "moussaka" mystery loaf, or a tiramisu made with cool whip.  Yellow rice has streaks of food coloring in it and arrives as a cold, solidified block.
• Bakers & Grillers
• Inedible breakfast!  corned beef hash sits under 2" of grease, eggs are grayish-green, and almost everything else consist of deep-fried frozen breakfast items.  What's really ironic, is that this is the caterer of choice for a rep selling digestive medications
• Passable lunches.  The company is Uruguayan-owned, and they make a great Chajá cake.
• Corporate Caterers
• If you want a forgettable event, hire these caterers who specialize in forgettable food.  Grilled chicken can be used as a projectile weapon.  Their idea of chimichurri is laughable
• Douglas K Katering
• Just a notch above Corporate Caterers.  I can't really remember anything they serve, although I know they've been to the office several times because they print their logo on the water bottles they bring
• Exquisite Catering by Robert
• Along with the two above it, this one belongs in the category of "forgettable food".  They do, however, have impeccable presentation.
• Paisanne's Catering (or Payzan, or Paysanne, or Paisan, or Pyesan)
• This guy spells it in a creative way, and I just can't remember how, but you should avoid this caterer.  The office spent a weekend with food poisoning after a barbecue and soul food lunch that looked really great when it arrived.  Additionally, this guy's Italian food is a dry and flavorless joke. Breakfast consists of green scrambled eggs and the store-bought rolls.  The guy's well-meaning, but needs to polish up his cooking a bit.

Recommended Caterers:

• Joe Knows Lunch
• ...and boy does he ever!  This place is absolutely phenomenal and pretty affordable.  We had a hamburger lunch that included 1/3 lb burgers, freshly baked rolls, avocado slices, fresh mozzarella, havarti, vegetables, and a well-made salad, just to name of few of the toppings that it came with.  They also offer a mac n' cheese bar with countless toppings.  Their catered breakfasts far outshine anyone else's - oatmeal with a wide selection of toppings, soft scrambled eggs cooked in butter, real sausage links, thick cut bacon, fresh-baked bagels, Greek yogurt, and more.
• Stork's
• If you have the money to spend on it, it's worth it, but make sure you have a crowd that's used to European-style bread and European-style portions.  Their sandwiches are great, and their salads have a good proportion of greens to toppings. Almost everything is extra here, but do splurge on dessert...you won't regret it.
• Howard's Market
• This caterer is based in Boca Raton, and the food can be a little on the bland side (it's in Boca, go figure), but they do serve quality and it is a lot lighter than the greasy and heavy food a lot of the other caterers serve.  Their grilled chicken with lemon beurre blanc and julienned vegetables makes for an elegant meal, and their salad is great with a mixture of chopped cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, alfalfa sprouts, and sunflower seeds.  Every order comes with freshly-baked bread, and the cookies are some of the best I've had from a caterer.

A word of warning to anyone ordering food from any caterer:  AVOID THE RICE!!!  Unless you're ordering from an exclusively Latino caterer, every caterer uses parboiled rice that has the consistency of driveway gravel.  Get potatoes or even pasta as a side.